It’s important to understand the difference between intention and behaviour; EVERY behaviour has a positive intent hidden somewhere in your subconscious.
No matter how destructive your behaviour may appear at times, there is a constructive reason behind it. But maybe, somewhere along the way that reason has been lost while the behaviour remained. Or even if the reason is still there, maybe the wrong response was created and it has become counter-productive.
If you want to change your negative behaviours, try reframing them using these steps. This will involve some quiet time so arrange a time and place where you can be undisturbed and sit or lay comfortably and quietly.
Accept that sometimes the subconscious is slow to respond. Many of the things you are trying to access are buried deep and have been for a long time. Be patient. Often it is good to sleep on things.
1. Identify the behaviour or response to be changed
a. I want to ….but something stops me – or
b. I don’t want to ……but always end up
2. Establish communication with the part responsible for the behaviour
a. Accept that the behaviour has a good intention and that you may not want to get rid of it
b. Look inside yourself and find the part of your mind responsible
c. Ask if it will communicate with your conscious mind now
3. Separate the positive intention from the behaviour
a. Thank that part of your mind for its cooperation and ask it what it is trying to achieve
b. Even if you cannot establish a motive ask, if I could find a better way would you be willing to try it?
4. Ask your creative part to generate new behaviours for the same purpose.
a. Ask this part of your mind to communicate with your creativity centres to generate alternatives and to select suitable ones
5. Ask the original part if it will agree to try the new behaviours over the coming weeks.
a. Ask your subconscious to at least try the new methods before resorting to the original behaviour if none work
6. Ecology check
a. Be sure that no other parts of your subconscious have a problem with the changes.
And remember to be patient. If you don’t get an instant response, don’t be surprised. Expect it. It may be that you do steps one and two. And you don’t get a response until 2 days later when suddenly something pops into your mind. You may find days elapse before you get a response to each point. The subconscious is a complex beast is can take a while to get round to things.
Don’t give up until you’ve given it a good try. Just don’t necessarily expect results to be fast.