Getting What You Want

In order to get what you want, you have to know what that is. Sometimes people have a vague idea of “something better”, or “more”, or “something different”. But too often they don’t actually establish exactly what they want and so they drift along aimlessly hoping karma will sort it out for them.

And as the old saying goes, “if you aim at nothing, you’ll probably hit it”. Here are some hints to help you work out where you want to go.

1.      Make your goals positive?

Don’t think about what you want to avoid (“I’m too fat”, “I haven’t got enough money”). Think positive; and specific. How many pounds do you want to weigh? What waist size do you want? How much will that cruise you want cost?

2.      Is it what YOU want and within my control?

Is the goal something you want or is it something that you wife, husband, or someone else wants you to do? Is it something within your control? It’s no good saying, “my wife wants me to lose weight” or “I want my husband to be nicer”.  One is not a goal which motivates you and the other is not a goal which you personally can achieve.

3.      How will you know when you achieve it?

Can you break the goal down into achievable chunks with defined end points which you can see or feel? What will you see, hear, feel, etc., when you get to the end?

4.      In what context will you achieve it?

Ask yourself, “where, when and how, do I want to achieve this? Who with?” It’s all very well saying I want to live in a mansion, but if the only mansion you can afford is on a desert island in the Pacific, well maybe that wasn’t what you wanted. Add the full context. “I want a mansion in LA, paid for by my successful film production company, based in a large office block in Beverly Hills, making entertaining but informative films about the environment in partnership with my wife. And I want it 3 years from today”. That’s context.

5.      Do you know what things you need in order to achieve it?

·         What will you need in order to make it?

·         Which ones do you already have?

·         What about if you “act as if” you have the others?

·         What similar things have you achieved before that you can learn from?

6.      What might the side effects be?

·         What is the real reason for wanting this? Try to look beneath and identify WHY you want it. What will reaching your goal give you that you don’t have?

·         What will I lose or gain if I get it? Realise that, to get your goal you may have to give some things up along the way? If you don’t want to lose those things, be sure to include that in your stated goal.

·         What will happen if I don’t get it? What WON’T happen? Is it really worth the effort? Would your time and effort be better spent on something else?

·         Could this goal have an effect on your health, relationships, etc?

7.      Make it exciting

Once you’ve written your goal down, does it thrill you to look at it? Does it make you want to go “hell, yeah! Let’s do this”?

8.      Do you know the first step?

Make an action plan.  If it’s any kind of significant goal you’re not going to achieve it on day one. But what CAN you do on day one? Strike while the iron’s hot. Get the process started, and then make sure you know what you’re going to do about it tomorrow. And the next day.



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