NLP is about process rather than content; “how”, not “what”. NLP isn’t about what you do. It’s about how you do it. X makes you scared. NLP wants to know how, “how does X go about causing the fear”?
Once you know the process, you can develop a strategy to tackle it. A good way of doing this is to look at the processes involved in things you are good at.
What are you good at? Don’t say “nothing”, everyone is good at something. Think of something you are good at and how you do it. What thoughts are in your mind when you’re doing it? What feelings?
How are they different to when you anticipate the thing you’re afraid of? Or the thing that makes you angry. Or the thing you keep “failing” at? What do you do differently?
Then try to apply those winning thoughts and feelings to the negative situations.
Let’s say, for example, that you’re unfit. You were never any good at sports at school and you’ve avoided them ever since.
Your thought processes are something like, “I’m no good at sports. I always drop the ball.”
Let’s also say that you’re really good at puzzles. You are a Sudoku expert in the making, you love a good crossword and you make anagrams in your sleep.
Now your thought processes are probably more like, “this is fun. I love this. Give me more.”
So how about you use that same mind-set for sports? Try a sport you can play alone and which doesn’t require lots of skills and practice, jogging for example. And turn it into a game. Maybe you could even combine the two e.g. “can I make an anagram out of the words on this sign before I reach that next lamppost?”
In time, you might find that you look forward to jogging. Maybe you can invite a friend along and challenge each other with puzzles as you jog. And maybe try some other sports together.
Whatever your problem, if you can take the positive mind-set from one situation and try to apply it to something else which gives you negative “vibes”, you should be able to feel better about it.
I’ll tell you a personal story along those lines next time. Until then, get analysing those though processes.